The Only Way Out is Through


I describe it as a monster. Something that you can try to visualize outside of yourself, removing the belief that it is actually something about you that’s flawed. I’ve seen it depicted as a dark cloud following someone around, heard it described as wading through thick mud, and felt what I call the darkness.

Let’s talk about how to get out of depression.

I often use the book We’re Going On A Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen. Over and over in this beautiful children’s book, they come across barriers to their adventures. In the midst of each, they repeat “We can’t go over it. We can’t go under it. Oh no! We’ve got to go through it!” That, ladies, gentlemen, and the like, is my prescription for getting out of depression. But what exactly does that mean? Let me walk you through Danielle’s Directions through Depression.

Depression typically wants for you to sit on your bum, binge watch streaming tv, and eat loads of carbs or sweets. It wants you to pull away from your friends, responsibilities, and goals. We used to believe that depression was simply a chemical imbalance, but some have more recently suggested that depression is a spiritual and mental tactic of turning toward yourself to learn and grow. That perhaps depression has a purpose.

Yet, in our current day that purpose seems to get a little lost. Nowadays when we turn toward ourselves, we tend to bring a tiny computer with us so as not to have to face ourselves. But see, that’s our problem. How are we to learn from our depression if we’re unwilling to face what needs to be seen?

The things I’m going to recommend are not going to be terribly novel to you. I’m going to tell you the things that you’ll need to do, and you may hear in your mind, “no thanks,” or “I’ve tried that,” or “that sounds like a lot of work.” My answer to these are the same – I know. I know you’ve probably tried, maybe even for several weeks or months. Maybe you did a little of this, or a little of that. For many people, depression becomes a lifestyle. Changing habits of any kind, let alone an entire way of being, takes effort. It takes countless repetitions, time, and perseverance.

And you know what? You can do it.

Here are the 9 things you need to do to move your way through depression:

  1. Exercise
  2. Meditate
  3. Own Your Sh*t (yep- I said it!)
  4. Eat Right
  5. Unplug
  6. Sleep Well
  7. Participate
  8. Volunteer
  9. Find the Passion

Over the next nine weeks, I’ll walk you through step by step. As we build this plan together, the goal is to continually add to your repertoire. Week one, for instance, I’m going to tell you to get some exercise. But that doesn’t mean during week two, you stop exercising and start meditating. Each week you’ll need to focus your energy into that week, while also continuing each previous lesson. It builds upon itself until you’ve created a new lifestyle, got it?

One last thing. Each week I’m going to be telling you to do things you don’t, in fact, want to do. That’s the point. You’ll have to do them anyway. You’re welcome to curse my name as you do, that’s fine. So long as you’re still doing it.

If you’re stuck in depression, what’s in your comfort zone is no longer good for you. That might be isolation, binge watching tv, binge eating (or restricting), staying up all hours of the night, feeling victim to your own mind, and avoiding silence at all costs. I’m going to ask you to step outside your comfort zone. Yes, if you’re comfortable, you’re not changing. Let’s get to the magic zone, that place where we do good things for ourselves that are wildly uncomfortable and force us to grow.

It may be helpful to have an expert support you along your path. In order to create lasting change, you have to commit to changing every day for the next two years (and not just the commitment, but the action). If you find that your efforts have been short bursts up to now, reach out for help.

I’ll say it again. You can do this. Time to let the light in.

See you next week.